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The Knew York Times

The only honest bestseller list — where the rankings are bought and everybody knows it.

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Satire notice: The Knew York Times is a satirical platform and is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to The New York Times Company. Rankings are determined by bid amount, not editorial judgment or sales data.

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© 2026 The Knew York Times. All rights reserved. Placement on our lists is not an endorsement of literary quality. But you already knew that.

How It Works

Other best seller lists pretend money isn't involved. We skip that part. Here's exactly how the sausage gets made.

1. Add Your Book

Sign up, upload your cover, write a description, pick your genre(s), and drop in a purchase link. Yes, you can list in multiple genres. Hedge your bets.

2. Place a Bid

Pick a genre and bid at least $3.00. You’re charged right away—we’re upfront like that. Bidding closes Sunday at 11:59 PM PT, so plan your weekend accordingly.

3. Rankings Are Calculated

Bids are tallied Sunday night and the new Best Sellers list goes live the following Monday. The 15 highest bids per genre earn a spot, and the top 15 site-wide grace the Overall list. Meritocracy, redefined.

4. Losing Bids Are Refunded

Didn’t crack the top 15? Full refund. You only pay when you win. Think of it as a consolation prize for your wallet.

Additional Features

Recurring Bids

Too busy writing your next masterpiece to remember bidding day? Set it and forget it. Save a payment method and your bid auto-renews every Sunday.

Weeks on List

Hold your spot across multiple weeks and earn a "weeks on list" badge. Just like the real thing, except we admit how it got there.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I bid in multiple genres?

Absolutely. List your book in as many genres as you like and bid separately in each. Diversify your portfolio, as they say in finance.

Can I see other bids?

Nope. Bidding is blind, so you can't see what others bid and they can't see yours. It's like poker, but for literary prestige.

When are refunds processed?

Rankings are calculated Sunday night and go live the following Monday. Non-winning bids are refunded that same Monday. Expect the money back in 5-10 business days. Patience is a virtue, especially in publishing.

Can I cancel a bid?

Cold feet? Cancel any pending bid before Sunday night's ranking calculation and get an immediate refund. No hard feelings.

What's the minimum bid?

Just $3.00 per genre per week. There's no maximum, so dream big (or bid big, same thing here).

Does bidding guarantee placement?

No. Only the top 15 bids per genre make the cut each week. If your bid doesn't crack the list, you get a full refund — so think of it as a risk-free gamble on your literary ego. We also can't guarantee that being on the list will sell a single copy of your book. But it'll look great on your author website.

What if someone else bids the same book?

If two people bid the same book (same ISBN) in the same genre, we keep the higher bid and refund the lower one. Only one version of your masterpiece per genre per week — we have standards. Sort of.

Ready to Buy Some Prestige?

Sign up, list your book, and place your first bid. Best seller status is just a credit card transaction away.

Create Account